Mysteries Of The House
By Jack T. Kat

I have successfully penetrated the house. The main occupant is a "jeff"
(pronounced something like the sound made when expelling a hairball).
The other two are like myself. It would, of course, be an unpardonable
breach of protocol to reveal their true names; their given names are
too ridiculous to share here.

Here there is always warmth and something soft to lie on. The padded
floors -- lovely to stroll, and they offer fine purchase for claws when
the urge to run is upon me, as it so often is. The feka grounds are
enclosed in a box of some kind, cleaned often, and fragrant. There are
abundant small plush items which can be rolled or batted or flung
about. Some make noise and some do not. Some must be placed on a harder
surface in order to be heard. Some, it wouldn't matter how hard the
floor, they remain silent. It's annoying when any of these objects
passes through some small opening and out of reach -- but it's quite
exciting and amusing to watch the jeff fishing about under things and
retrieving them.

The movingwalls are a remarkable phenomenon. They change from dark to
bright at seemingly regular intervals. Recently I found that the cycle
is not entirely reliable: bright was replaced by a grayness and
something like w---- appeared to be moving in rivulets from high to
low. Thankfully, the w---- phenomenon was trapped inside the
movingwalls with the rest of the strange effects. Perhaps this is
similar to when the jeff goes into a semi-transparent box in the
smallest room and causes w---- to rain down upon his body. He does this
at least once each day; it is most horrifying to witness.

The thing that confounds me the most is the redfly. A small, silent,
round, bright redfly has recently begun appearing. It flies only on
flat surfaces, and exhibits some very odd behavior. When it touches me,
I feel nothing. It moves totally non-ballistically. It sometimes
disappears completely, only to reappear in a different place. The jeff,
during these times, appears to be manipulating something small and
metallic. I can only assume he is using a device to gather his own data
on the redfly. Between the two of us, I am sure we will soon solve this